How To Stuff A Parrot

1 Turkey
Corn Pudding…Read More
Green Beans
Sweet Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Cranberry Sauce
Hot rolls
Relish tray
Pumpkin Pie
Whipped Cream
Hot Coffee

Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It’s going to be a long day so place your parrot on a perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the meal.

Remove parrot from kitchen counter back to perch. Prepare stuffing, remove parrot from edge of stuffing bowl. Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, remove parrot from edge of pan. Have another cup of coffee to steady your nerves. Remove parrot’s head from turkey cavity and re-stuff voided area. Prepare relish tray, remember to make twice as much so that you’ll have a regular size serving after the parrot has eaten his fill.

Remove parrot from kitchen counter. Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries accidentally flung to the floor. Peel potatoes, remove parrot from edge of potato bowl. Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini marshmallows, remove parrot from edge of pan & replace missing marshmallows.

Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean up the torn filter and old coffee grounds from around the pot. Pry coffee bean from parrot beak. Have another cup of coffee & remove parrot from kitchen counter.

When time to serve the meal: Place roasted turkey on a large platter, cover beak marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley. Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, rewhip at last minute to conceal bite marks and talon prints. Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget presentation, as there’s no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallow. Put rolls in decorative basket, remove parrot from side of basket along with beaked rolls, and serve what’s left. Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften, think better and return it to the refrigerator. Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato talon tracks.

Remove parrot from kitchen counter & carve the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off parrot’s beak & place large dollops of remaining cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then served to guests, beaked-out portions should be reserved for host & hostess.

Place parrot inside cage & lock the door. Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family – accompanied by plaintive cries of “WANT DINNER!” from the other room.

~Posted from Heather’s iPhone